The things we don’t think about as “Americans”

Over the past month I have had the opportunity to share and learn with a new friend about some things I never really thought about until I moved to Malawi, and today I want to share these simple thoughts with you. My Malawian friend’s name is Isaac. He is a pastor and carpenter in the village of Khwidzi, a village located in Chipoka. Speaking with him, on now a regular basis, has enlightened me with the ignorance of some gestures made by people in the United States (and the realization of how my service differs from what I could have even imagined). This ignorance is not purposeful of course, but probably because many individuals have never been to Malawi, Africa, or any other developing third world country for that matter. However, because currently I am blessed with this amazing opportunity, I hope that I am able to shed some light on this topic.

A few weeks back I was traveling home from Zomba, a beautiful district in Malawi that is the home of the Zomba plateau, a landscape covered in the color green (a story for a different time), when I met a man named Isaac. Isaac quickly became a blessing in my life, as I was somewhat stranded in the dark, in a place I’ve never been, because the minibus I boarded to get home decided to drop me off and turn around, instead of continuing all the way to Salima like “planned”. The driver gave me part of my money back and told me in Chichewa that another bus would come “soon.” Well the word soon in Malawi doesn’t really mean what it means back in the States; soon could mean hours. (Some of you may be thinking, “WHAT? They can’t do that.” Well they did haha, and spoiler alert, I was okay.) So, after about an hour of standing on the side of the road in the dark, wondering what the heck I was going to do now, waving down trucks and asking the driver, “Mukuputi kuti?” (where are you going?) to see if I could get a ride, and having all of that fail (let me tell you I was very thankful for my past travel experience in this moment because it lowered the panic I may have had otherwise), I met Isaac. Isaac spoke English, which I found out after trying to greet him in Chichewa and he responded in English. I asked him where he was going, and his answer gave me peace, as he responded with the name of a village I recognized only because I help with an under five out reach clinic there; Khwidzi.

I told Isaac my situation, and that traveling at night was something I was not supposed to do (Peace Corps is worried about our safety; it makes sense), and he was more than happy to help. Within the next hour, now 9pm, we had boarded the back of a truck, with too many buckets of fish, headed towards Salima. I was happy to have a pull over sweater because we had another hour to travel before Chipoka and the night breeze was chilly against my skin. Anyways, that is how I met Isaac.

About a week later I heard someone calling, “Sister Kaaat, Sister Kaaat.” At first I did not recognize the man, but as soon as he asked me if I remembered him, my memory clicked and I was able to respond with a truthful, “yes.” He was so eager to see me, he even escorted me home from the market (which was like a 25 minute walk). During our walk I learned that Isaac was a Pastor in a church in Khwidzi, but also was a carpenter. (In Malawi being a pastor in rural villages is more voluntary, and it is likely the man does other work to support his family). This was extremely good news to my ears! Finding a reliable carpenter, who actually has wood to build things, has been a very difficult task for me in my village. So much that I built my kitchen countertop, and a bookshelf myself (read about this in my DIY blog post below; I’m very proud). Isaac informed me he both had wood, and would be willing to help me build a table and chair for a price I can afford as a volunteer, with the best news being that he said he could do it the following week. (If only I could express how happy I was about this….I’ve been trying very hard to have something built so I no longer have to eat on the ground. First world problems, I know.)

The following week, while Isaac and I started to build my table together, was when I fully began to understand how curious he was to learn about the United States, how we do things, and myself as an “American.” He asks lots of questions, and I love answering them. (One of Peace Corps goals for our service is to share the culture of the United States with the country where you serve. Isaac has made this easy!) He passionately wants to soak up the knowledge I have to offer. Over the past few months at site at my home I have planted a garden, experimented with drying papaya, and even made my own chiponde (peanut butter), with the hopes of teaching groups in my surrounding villages how to do the same (think improving nutrition). Isaac is a man who is willing and eager to learn, and even wants to help me teach the members of his church about these things.

While we build we talk about the importance of using a bug net to prevent malaria, the 6 main food groups and which foods have what nutritious value, making an improved cook stoves to conserve energy (aka firewood) while cooking, how children are the future and how important it is for them to go to school, etc. And as I tell Isaac what I know about these topics, he is always translating it into Chichewa for the three other teenage boys who help with his carpentry business. He is not only enthusiastic in learning himself, but he also values the meaning in sharing this knowledge with others. With this he has been a blessing in another way, as I am able to teach about health topics in an informal setting.

Like I mentioned before Isaac asks me lots of questions. Yesterday when I stopped by to say hi to Isaac after the outreach clinic in Khwidzi he told me that earlier in the year, that being in May, his church had received Christmas toys for children. These toys were sent to Lilongwe from a church in the states as gifts for children for Christmas, and he had questions on what a few of these items actually were.

**Before I say anymore I want to be clear that I am not trying to sound negative or give the interpretation that giving toys for children in need at Christmas is bad. I just want to share my viewpoint on the matter so that we can expand our minds in ways that are more sustainable. You should know that I truly believe in giving to the poor, hence why I moved to Africa for two years of my life….(or maybe more if I decide to stay haha).

Immediately when Isaac said “Christmas toys” I was thinking, geez it’s a little late giving the children the toys in May. Then I realized the process in which it takes to get toys to a rural village in Africa is not a short one, while also coming to the realization that the majority of these toys don’t make it to the rural villages at all. Isaac informed me that the toys were sent to a church in Lilongwe, and he happened to know that pastor of the church in Lilongwe so the leftover toys came to the rural village where his church is. For those who don’t know Lilongwe is the capital, and a very developed city in Malawi. You can find things we as Peace Corps Volunteers may call “luxury items,” things we only get on occasion because we are living in the village; cheese, chocolate, wine….obviously the essentials haha. There are real grocery stores, and restaurants, and it’s where a lot the “rich” people of Malawi live. To say the least it is not what people who have never been to Africa think of when they think of Africa. My point is that the church that received those initial Christmas gifts probably has members that can afford to buy gifts for their children on Christmas, while the families who live not in the city (the majority of Malawi) but in the rural areas can’t afford presents, but are not the ones usually receiving gifts, because the gifts sent are going to the city churches because that is where there are connections to the States. (Explaining all this isn’t the point of my post, just information I thought would be good for you to understand).

Isaac then proceeded to tell me that he was able to distribute these gifts in May to the members of his church, as “Christmas gifts,” even though it is not Christmas time. (I have not yet experienced a Christmas in Malawi, but I am willing to bet that Santa Claus doesn’t come to the majority of houses in this village because the parents cannot afford to buy presents. To say that children in the village even know who Santa is would really surprise me. Isaac really didn’t even seem to understand that these toys were meant for Christmas presents, not just donations, making me wonder if he even knows about this tradition of giving gifts at Christmas time in the United States, and other places in the world.) The random time of year for the receiving of these gifts makes me wonder what the children are thinking when they were handed these toys with the piece of paper that says “Merry Christmas.” But then again, like I said before, even if it were Christmas when they were receiving the gifts they may not know that a lot of kids in other parts of the world get gifts at Christmas anyways, so maybe it makes no difference. (Again, just more thoughts spilled onto this page, I promise I’m getting to what sparked me to write about this in the first place.) Either way I’m sure the kids were happy to be getting toys.

The funny thing is that we, people who have been privileged to grow up in the United States, don’t think about what we are donating, and that people in Africa might not even know what the things we are sending are, or how to use them. For example, little things like the fact that children might think toy bubbles are perfume, or that playdough is not for eating, but for making little clay structures out of. Or maybe not even only children, but adults. The reason I wanted to write about this topic is because yesterday Isaac told me about these Christmas gifts he was given to hand out to children, that he had given out the toys in May, but also that there were a few items that he could not give out because he himself did not know what they were, or how to “play with them.” The items he asked about were the items I just listed above; bubbles, playdough, and then also this little plastic toy that you can trace like a stencil (which I also realized is silly to send because the child may not have a pencil or paper to use the toy with). You would not believe the look on his face when I started blowing bubbles, or the laugh as he admitted he thought that the little bottle was some sort of soap/perfume. This interaction sat on my heart hard, as I continued to think about it throughout the day, and how these donations differed from the point of my service in extreme ways. First it made me feel ignorant; that I hadn’t thought of this before. That donations we send in shoe boxes as Christmas gifts may not even be something that the child knows how to use. How could it be possible that an adult man doesn’t know what bubbles are? Or an even better question, what has made it so that we automatically assume that everyone in the world would know how to use bubbles as a toy, and not take it for what it looks like, soap. It just sort of put things in perspective for me. And may be good insight if your church puts together gifts to send to third world countries over the holidays.

Isaac also showed me the letter that the gifts came with. It was from a girl named Shelby who goes to a Methodist Church in Kentucky. The letter said, “let’s be pen pales.” What a wonderful idea, writing back and forth from Africa to the United States, allowing for cultural exchange and a chance for new friendship. Yeah a wonderful idea…..until you realize that sending a stamp from Malawi to the States is 870 Malawian Kwatcha (equivalent to around 2 United States dollars), and that many people live on $1-2 dollars a day, if that. So although, maybe Peace Corps wouldn’t agree with my next move because it’s not sustainable, I offered to send a letter back to Shelby from Isaac (even though it’s now July and she sent this box probably in November). It was quite clear that he wanted to himself so he could express his gratitude for the gifts, but k870 was simply too much. Again, I have been blessed with a different mindset, from one I may have had when I lived at home.

So, with having this opportunity to be able to look at this situation from the other side, although making me feel sad (and somewhat ignorant) that I haven’t realized it before, it’s made my service in Malawi as a Peace Corps Volunteer thus far that more special. One, because I have been awakened with the consciousness of how crazy is it to have the privilege to CHOOSE to live how I am currently living everyday. I have had the privilege of choosing to live in a village surrounded by people who live on a dollar a day. The privilege of choosing to live with no electricity, and to cook on a fire, and to pee in a hole in the ground, when I have already been blessed with electricity, and a stovetop, and toilet at home if I so wanted them in my life. Where as the people I live in surrounding with don’t choose. They don’t have the privilege of being born in the United States where things like Malaria, and 1 in 10 people having HIV/AIDS don’t exist. Many don’t have the privilege of being able to be a pen pale with and American. And secondly, because unlike these donations that don’t last, I know that my service will be sustainable. I won’t be looked in my village like the average white person is looked at because I live day in and day out with these people. I speak (or I should say attempt to speak) their native language instead of expecting someone to speak English. I haven’t come with a lot of money, and free things to hand out, but instead I’ve come with knowledge, and probably even more important, 2 years of my time. So now when I think about people being handed things for free, or the thousands of dollars that go into donations, I think of it from a different standpoint. I think, “How is that going to be sustainable? How is that empowering the villages to do things themselves? How is that really making a change?” It’s hard to write in words. It’s so so so hard to describe my feelings and how my thoughts have been changed due to actually living a similar (but still better off) life as to one who lives in rural Malawi. Yes, I believe in giving to the poor, but it’s how we give. Giving our time can have such a greater impact, and I’ve already begun to experience this with the 4 short months I’ve been here. I am here not to give away physical “things” (donations that will run out, or break, etc), but am here to teach, to empower, to give these people the knowledge to do things themselves without the need for outside support. So, that when I say goodbye in 2 years time, what I have left with these people, that I have already fallen in love with, is something they will have their whole lives. Something they won’t need me to be dependent on for, because they will be able to do it themselves.

#peacecorps