Feeling My Feels

Some feelings you just cannot describe with words, but only can feel with your emotions. How I am feeling at this exact moment fits into that category. Peace Corps continually tells us to “feel our feels.” After all, it’s a good thing to be honest with your feelings. Both body and mind appreciates this, and it keeps your heart and mind in sync. So today, while I was reflecting after a long day of travel, and I was feeling my feels, I realized I have completely and whole-heartedly fallen in love with Malawi.

On Monday of this week each of the trainee volunteers were given our site information. Now for those who don’t know, site announcements are a huge deal (little did I realize, I was in this group of people who really did not fully understand how BIG of a deal this day was). In detail, what Monday consisted of was Peace Corps staff making a huge map of Malawi at the grounds of our home stay village. Next they blindfolded each and every one of us, and walked us from the school to the map, placing us in the exact location of Malawi that we will be serving, and dedicating our lives to for the next two years. Keep in mind we were not allowed to talk, or laugh, peek, or feel around in anyway, at least we were not supposed to. You wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise of where your site is located, or what other volunteers will be serving nearby. Then once we were all placed correctly, we were each given a packet with all of the information Peace Corps had collected about our site. Finally, after much waiting with heavy anticipation, we were told to remove our blindfolds.

That brings me to today (I’ll just skip talking about all of the preparation we did during the rest of the week to prepare us for our actual site visit), where I am currently sitting on the porch of my new home in Ngwena village. And boy do I feel so incredible blessed. Ngwena village is located in the catchment area of Chipoka, which has a population of just over 31 thousand people, 6 thousand households. Chipoka is located in the central region of Malawi, in the district of Salima, which may I add is located directly on Lake Malawi. And when I say directly, I mean the lake is practically located in my backyard. Another blessing in disguise, as I have grown up on a body of water my entire life (The Wisconsin River). Seeing the absolute beauty of the lake has already given my heart a little piece of home.

For the next 5 days I will be staying in Ngwena on “site visit”, to get orientated with the village, meet important authority, and become closer with my supervisor and counterpart (two people I will be working very closely with during my next two years). Because I am the first person to be living in my home, it is empty. Which means, I am “camping out” (literally), inside my new home, with a tent and a sleeping pad. I would include my sleeping bag too, but I think if I were to sleep inside my sleeping bag I may die of a heat stroke. Maybe that’s not funny, so to say the least, it is very, very hot here….and it’s technically cold season (haha, good joke Malawi). Welcome to my new life, of waking up in puddles of sweat.

On a more serious note, it is a completely amazing feeling when you are reminded of why God may have called you to a certain task. For the last year, I have felt called to join the Peace Corps. God has told me again and again that part of our role on earth is to be the literal hands of Jesus; not for the glory of ourselves, but for the glory of Him. And here I am today, sitting in the village I will be helping to empower, feeling as though I know exactly why God has placed me here. So that I can spread His love and peace, while sharing with these people the knowledge I have to break them from easily prevented diseases, malnutrition, the spreading of HIV/AIDS, etc. But also to integrate, and learn from this village, and soak up everything they may want to share with me.

The feelings I have in this exact moment are indescribable, but they are also given to me by God. And because of this I cannot wait for the journey He has planned for me over the next two years of service. Today I am feeling my feels.

#peacecorps