Perception. Judgement. Stereotypes....White Girl with Dreadlocks.

I have never been someone who conforms to what others want me to do. I am a free spirit, and I make my own choices based on who I am as a person. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I make the wrong choices. I may even make the wrong choices more than I realize. But I don’t like to think of myself as someone who conforms to who the world may want/tell me to be. Today, you could say I conformed…or at least that is how I feel. Conform is probably not the correct term in this situation when looked at through eyes besides my own, but in my brain it is a word to describe how I feel.

Today I cut off my dreadlocks. Yes, you read that right. I am now someone who could be described as bald…ish. I didn’t want to cut off my dreadlocks. I loved my hair, maybe too much. And that is the point….maybe the dreadlocks were prideful. Pride sometimes may be interpreted in a positive way, but when it is related to my relationship with God, I do not believe it is. Pride is seen as a sin. I do not believe that I was someone who boosted about my hair, and I do not believe that it defined me as a person, but it was something that made me “different” or “unique” from everyone else, and I think I was conscious of that, and even liked that. My hair was something that gave me a lot of attention; sometimes wanted and sometimes unwanted. However, when it comes down to it, I think that my hair may have been prideful.

The reason I got dreadlocks was to change the perception of the stereotypes that go along with this particular hairstyle. If you knew me in high school, you probably thought I would be the last person ever to dread my hair. But, I did, and I did it to potentially change the judgment that is given to someone who has a similar look. Did I succeed?...in some ways yes, but there will always be judgment in our world, and you can’t stop everyone from having a set thought already preconceived in their minds.

In Malawi dreadlocks are not seen as professional, as they are not seen that way to many people in the United States. In Malawi dreadlocks are also associated with drug use and the Rastafarian Religion, also sometimes similar in the U.S. This is why I was advised that if I made my dreadlocks disappear I would have a better chance of being welcomed and respected into the Malawian culture. Some of you may think that this is ridiculous, but ultimately I didn’t want to take that chance. Already being a white person, and a female, not from this country will give me a lot of difficulties to work thought. So when looking at this situation from an outside view in, it is more important to me that I am respected in my community so that I can help empower the people of my village, rather than try to change the perceptions on what it may mean to have dreadlocks.

Saying all of this is way easier said than done. But I guess even though it wasn’t easy, I made the choice that I felt would be the best in terms of my service with the Peace Corps. So, as I said in the beginning, I feel like I have conformed. I feel like I have changed the way I look because of what other people may think of me. I feel like I may have given up on changing a perception that was important to me to be changed. However, I think I conformed for the right reasons, and I can say that I am proud of myself for making that decision.

Afterall, it is just hair, it will grow back, and Jesus won't judge me either way :)

#peacecorps